Today I am starting with Banana Banana Bread (that's the name- not a typo). I just stuck it in the oven- I hope it turns out yummy! The bananas were a little old- but not all brown- I hope that doesn't affect it.
I am trying to decide what I should make for dinner tonight. Hmmm.... something new but not too crazy of ingredients, I don't really feel like going to the store today. Something with chicken perhaps??
I will update about my banana bread and what I decide to make for dinner- wish me luck!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Baby smiles, stretch marks, and spiders
Myla is starting to smile at things that she likes, its so cute. Yesterday she smiled at her dad for the first time, today she smiled at the dog. She smiles at me, especially when she sees she's about to be fed, she smiles at the tv and other bright lights. I can't get a picture of it though! As soon as she sees the camera, her smile disappears. Little brat :P
It's the most beautiful thing in the world though :) I love her gorgeous smile. She's already so happy and full of light. I was blessed with an amazing little girl.
Today I am going to take her to the hospital with me to see my friend who had her adorable little boy earlier this week :) It seems like so many people are having babies right now.
Sometimes I feel like its not fair that my little girl had to stay in the hospital for so long while other women get to take their babies home the next day or two days after. And they complain about having to "be there so long". It makes me so upset. I just want to shake them and yell at them to be quiet. At least they got their babies in their rooms with them. At least they didn't have to go home without their little ones every night. They didn't have to feel guilty because they were just so tired and worn out that they didn't make it up to the hospital one night. It just doesn't seem fair at all. Why me? Why Myla? Why did I have to get sick??? I did nothing wrong! I see pregnant women drinking energy drinks, eating tons of junk, chugging soda after soda, never working out or taking care of themselves, yet they get to have normal deliveries and take their babies home right away. How is that fair?
I drank lots of water, went to school 4 days a week, worked out, took care of myself and my home, tried to keep my junk and sweets to a minimum even though thats all I was craving, and still my body failed me.
I look in the mirror and I see my scar, I see the tiny red stretch marks covering my thighs and butt, and they scream at me "Failure! Failure!!" They tell me how my body gave up, how my own body started to reject my baby. I think of my giant swollen ankles, the fact that I couldn't have a regular birth like I wanted to, the fact that my poor sweet baby had to be born 37 days before her due date because of my body. Because of me she had to struggle. She should only be 3 days old now, not 40 :( There is nothing I can do about it now except love her that much more because I know what its like to lose her a little. We've been through lots of struggles and hard times already, and it makes me appreciate every single day that I have with my sweet heart.
On to another subject- I feel like my house is being overtaken by spiders! I have seen 4 on my ceiling, two in my bed (one of them bit me!), one crawling on my arm a few days ago, one on my glasses this morning, and a huge one on my patio door. Eww! And its barely even summer yet. So nasty.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, and I hope there are no spiders in your beds (yuck!)
Consider yourself loved,
Pamela
It's the most beautiful thing in the world though :) I love her gorgeous smile. She's already so happy and full of light. I was blessed with an amazing little girl.
Today I am going to take her to the hospital with me to see my friend who had her adorable little boy earlier this week :) It seems like so many people are having babies right now.
Sometimes I feel like its not fair that my little girl had to stay in the hospital for so long while other women get to take their babies home the next day or two days after. And they complain about having to "be there so long". It makes me so upset. I just want to shake them and yell at them to be quiet. At least they got their babies in their rooms with them. At least they didn't have to go home without their little ones every night. They didn't have to feel guilty because they were just so tired and worn out that they didn't make it up to the hospital one night. It just doesn't seem fair at all. Why me? Why Myla? Why did I have to get sick??? I did nothing wrong! I see pregnant women drinking energy drinks, eating tons of junk, chugging soda after soda, never working out or taking care of themselves, yet they get to have normal deliveries and take their babies home right away. How is that fair?
I drank lots of water, went to school 4 days a week, worked out, took care of myself and my home, tried to keep my junk and sweets to a minimum even though thats all I was craving, and still my body failed me.
I look in the mirror and I see my scar, I see the tiny red stretch marks covering my thighs and butt, and they scream at me "Failure! Failure!!" They tell me how my body gave up, how my own body started to reject my baby. I think of my giant swollen ankles, the fact that I couldn't have a regular birth like I wanted to, the fact that my poor sweet baby had to be born 37 days before her due date because of my body. Because of me she had to struggle. She should only be 3 days old now, not 40 :( There is nothing I can do about it now except love her that much more because I know what its like to lose her a little. We've been through lots of struggles and hard times already, and it makes me appreciate every single day that I have with my sweet heart.
On to another subject- I feel like my house is being overtaken by spiders! I have seen 4 on my ceiling, two in my bed (one of them bit me!), one crawling on my arm a few days ago, one on my glasses this morning, and a huge one on my patio door. Eww! And its barely even summer yet. So nasty.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, and I hope there are no spiders in your beds (yuck!)
Consider yourself loved,
Pamela
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
I finally did it!
I finally got around to making my own blog.
I am not quite sure what I will blog about, but my best guess is: Myla, random things in my day, things I am going to cook/have cooked, and general everyday thoughts.
I hope it's entertaining and brings people some joy to read.
I am going to try and put in something about Myla every time I post, as a way for me to remember the silly things that she did, and what was going on in the various points in her life.
Right now I am drinking a frozen coffee and watching the new Alice in Wonderland. Myla is in her little bouncy chair grunting and chewing on her hands. I love her so much.
I never imagined loving anyone this much, and everyday I love her more and more.
My favorite thing to do is hold her close and breathe in her scent of milk, lotion, and the baby powder smell of her diaper, hear her softly breathing, and rub my face in her soft hair.
This morning I was holding her after she ate, and Dustin came into the living room and when she spotted him she got the biggest smile on her face. I think it really made her daddy happy to get a big smile like that from her.
She is 39 days old today. She has been home for about 28 of those. God I missed her so much while she was in the NICU. Leaving her there every day was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But that's a story for another day.
I wish a wonderful day to who ever reads this.
Consider yourself loved,
Pamela.
I am not quite sure what I will blog about, but my best guess is: Myla, random things in my day, things I am going to cook/have cooked, and general everyday thoughts.
I hope it's entertaining and brings people some joy to read.
I am going to try and put in something about Myla every time I post, as a way for me to remember the silly things that she did, and what was going on in the various points in her life.
Right now I am drinking a frozen coffee and watching the new Alice in Wonderland. Myla is in her little bouncy chair grunting and chewing on her hands. I love her so much.
I never imagined loving anyone this much, and everyday I love her more and more.
My favorite thing to do is hold her close and breathe in her scent of milk, lotion, and the baby powder smell of her diaper, hear her softly breathing, and rub my face in her soft hair.
This morning I was holding her after she ate, and Dustin came into the living room and when she spotted him she got the biggest smile on her face. I think it really made her daddy happy to get a big smile like that from her.
She is 39 days old today. She has been home for about 28 of those. God I missed her so much while she was in the NICU. Leaving her there every day was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. But that's a story for another day.
I wish a wonderful day to who ever reads this.
Consider yourself loved,
Pamela.
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